I'm approaching four months post-op and am happy to say that I'm feeling much more positive about this whole situation than when I posted my vlog last month. (Thanks to everyone who hung in there for the whole 9+ minutes...sheesh, I talk a lot! I guess I finally got to fulfill my '90s teenage dream of spilling my guts in the Real World confessional booth...)
Anyway, I've been doing pretty well lately. I'm getting through technique class with very few modifications, if any, and am becoming a lot more consistent in terms of my pain levels and what I'm able to do without getting too sore or tired. I started petit allegro a couple weeks ago, which gave me floppy "fish foot" at first due to my ankle being weak, but it's shaping up -- good thing, because I love petit allegro. (Crazy, right?!) I also attempted grand allegro last night, with my PT's OK. I felt it afterward, but I was so happy to move like that for the first time in almost four months! I always have and probably always will love to jump. At least until I'm 85 or so.
OK, now the not-so-good news. I'm still not back en pointe due to pain and a jammed feeling in the back of my ankle, even though I'm only doing super-basic things for short periods of time. I had my pointe shoes on for part of my physical therapy appointment this week, and it was not pretty. I can't get all the way over on my foot that had surgery, and if I push harder to try and get over my box, it really hurts -- and that's coming from someone who feels like she's built up a pretty legit pain tolerance over the last couple years. My PT said I probably still have some swelling from surgery and that I likely will until six months out, which blows my mind. (Also, best quote of the day: "You have good feet...and one angry ankle!") So for now, I'm just keeping at it, hoping it will slowly start to feel better.
Due to all this, I decided to sit out Snow and Flowers for Nutcracker this year because there's just no way I'll be ready for all the pointe work. I'm a teeny bit sad because Snow rehearsals started this week and OMG the sparkly white tutus! (out comes my inner six-year-old), but I was pleasantly surprised to get cast in Spanish, with character shoes. I'm glad that my teachers found a way for me to still be involved, and mostly, I'm relieved that I don't have to slap a deadline on this whole healing process by rushing to get back en pointe.
This experience has been a huge lesson in patience and letting my body work things out on its own terms. (I also turned 27 last week, so maybe it's just old age bringing me new wisdom?) Either way, I've learned and grown so much along this journey, and it isn't over yet! I have another PT appointment in a month, so I'll update again then, if not sooner. Until then, thanks for reading! And, uh, enjoy this snapshot of my evening: how my Great Dane mix is currently snoozing as I write.
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| Decency, sir. |
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